Refocusing on Physical Health

Posted by Nuzzling Muzzles

I received a phone call from my doctor last week informing me that she will give me on last refill of my prescription medication, and if I want any more beyond that, I have to come in for an annual physical.

Cough.  Cough.

I had no idea I was due, and I don't pay any attention to how many refills are left on my prescriptions.  I just put all of my prescriptions on auto-refill.  I managed to postpone my appointment for a couple of weeks, which will give me a chance to lose a few pounds and improve my cholesterol by eating oatmeal and Cheerios for breakfast.

I've been neglecting my physical health in part because it has been such a turbulent year, and in part because we lost our good health insurance when I got laid off from my job.  My husband put me on his so-so health insurance, and then along came the threat of ObamaCare and we lost what little employer-contribution insurance we had.  It was replaced by a special bank account we are required to keep specifically for medical bills.  A portion of my husband's check has to go into that account, which makes it more difficult for us to pay our other bills.

Anyway, I stopped seeing my OB/GYN and stopped getting mammograms.  My general practitioner figured that out and said she would do the exams that I missed.  At least I cut it down to one doctor.  She asked how my blood pressure had been, and I hesitated.  "Ummm, I don't know.  I haven't been monitoring it," I said.

The doctor got angry with me and said that I had better start monitoring it and bring the stats to our meeting.  So, I took my blood pressure this morning and it was considerably higher than it was last year.  That won't make the doctor happy.  She had given me specific directions on how to bring my blood pressure down.  I followed her program for a while until all hell broke loose in my life, and then I completely forgot about it.  I just kept taking this pill twice a day without really thinking about what it was for.  I wondered if my high blood pressure was a result of all the stress I've been under.  Then I looked at myself in a full-length mirror and was shocked to see how wide I have grown.

I've been too scattered to even think about weighing myself, but I've noticed that all my sleeveless tops dig into my shoulder blades.  I thought they had just shrunk, but that's not the case.  I've retained weight all over my body as opposed to just in the thighs or tummy.  That's the worst kind of weight gain because your shape doesn't visibly change.  You just gradually expand in all directions and before you know it, you are obese and you never saw it coming.

I actually thought I was losing weight with all the moving of furniture and boxes, and running up and down stairs that I've been doing over the past few months.  However, after I returned from my last trip, my husband bought me some raspberry chocolate ice cream as a gift to help me feel better.  It was the most delicious ice cream on earth, and he made sure that the carton was reserved for me and only me.  I hate to blame it all on the ice cream, but something triggered my demise and I don't know what else could have caused such a big weight gain. 

The one other time I gained a huge amount of weight over a short period of time was when my mother broke her leg.  I had to leave my home, family and job to take care of her for a couple of months.  My mother was in the hospital recovering from having her bone replaced on my birthday, so I had no one to celebrate my birthday with.  I went to the store to buy myself a little slice of cake or a cupcake, but then I saw two of the most delicious full-sized cakes on earth -- stuff you just can't find in bakeries in my small town.  I bought both of them thinking my mother would share them with me when she got out of the hospital, but she didn't get out.  She was transferred to hospice care.  So, I ate both cakes by myself over a period of a couple of weeks.

The amount of work it took to get that extra weight off was incredible and I vowed to never make that mistake again.  What saddens me this time around is that the most obvious symptom of my weight gain is foot pain.  It's almost as if I weigh so much that my own feet can't hold me up.  Once I start crossing over that line, the foot pain prevents me from doing aerobic exercises, which limits my ability to lose weight.  I have to diet before I can really, truly exercise.  I just find it odd that I always seem to gain weight over summer.  That's when I am most physically active, so I don't understand why this keeps happening.  Could it be because the majority of my family's birthdays are during the summer months, and we always eat cake to celebrate?  Duh.

Anyway, on the mental health front, I took Maia's suggestion of focusing on what I want instead of on everything that's going wrong.  I meditated every day while thinking positive affirmations that I will get what I want.  I actually changed the affirmations to "I am getting" what I want at this very moment.  I even bought a book that discusses the differences in wave lengths of positive affirmations vs. negative thoughts and how you attract what you think and say. 

So far, nothing really bad has happened to me, but nothing good has happened either.  All the things I want that I said would happen didn't happen.  However, I'm happy as long as nothing bad is happening.  Firefighters put out the majority of that wildfire that was headed my way.  I walked some dogs at the animal shelter yesterday and saw a few isolated trails of smoke where the fire flared up, but there wasn't much left to burn. 

Both of my kids got caught in a stampede at a concert.  My daughter got pinned against a door and my son ran away from the crowd.  Several kids broke their ankles and arms, but my kids came out of it unscathed and have learned their lesson to stay away from mobs.  Midge, my Corgi, has been sick and vomiting on the carpet a lot, but I think it is just from eating grass.  She has her appetite and is acting normal otherwise.  I call vomit on the carpet "par for the course".  I suppose I should raise my expectations, and then I might have better days.

I did see one glimmer of hope for the local economy.  There is an electric store in town that also serves as a UPS and FedEx hub.  I went there to drop off more paperwork to settle my mother's estate, and saw a Help Wanted sign on the door.  They need two people:  An electrician journeyman, which I am not, and part-time counter help, which I could do.  I have always wanted to work just a few minutes from my house.  It makes the drive a lot easier in the winter time.  So, doors are opening a crack and things that could have been really bad turned out okay this week.

Today is my mother's birthday.  She would have been 79.  I'll have to figure out some way to celebrate.  Perhaps she'll come and visit me, and I could ask her to use her influence on the other side to get the world to cut me some more slack and perhaps make something actually go swimmingly well for me.